


Subtle, Inc.

by EscapePub



Category: South Park
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Private Investigators, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-03-10 10:30:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13500048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EscapePub/pseuds/EscapePub
Summary: Heidi Turner was moving on from her past. After leaving Cartman's private investigation firm, Subtle, Inc., and the toxic relationship she'd had with the man, she had begun to remember who she was. Then Kenny McCormick showed up at her door and asked her to come back. There was a new CEO of Subtle, Inc., and he wanted Heidi to shape up the background department.





	1. The Message

Heidi had landed a desk job. She spent most of her day going through reports, making copyedits, and responding to aggressive emails from her unofficial supervisor.

It was winter. By the time Heidi got off work, it was already dark. She couldn’t afford a car yet, or rather she couldn’t justify the expense to herself. So she’d saved up and bought a vespa. It was silver and she loved it, but it didn’t provide that boxed-in safety of a car, nor the warmth.

After hustling to her vespa in the darkness of her office parking lot, Heidi put on her rose pink helmet and avoided the highway all the way to her two bedroom apartment. It took her an hour to get home.

She had planned to spend her evening with Milk, her fluffy white cat, and cook something inspired for dinner. But Kenny McCormick was sitting against her door when she arrived home.

He looked up at her when she approached, his eyes half closed. He smiled and tried to stand, but fell back to the ground. He laughed. “I guess I fell asleep, and my butt still is.”

“Hello to you, too,” Heidi said with a frown. She reached over him, unlocked her door, stepped over his legs, and pulled him in after her by the scruff of his jacket.

“Woaw!” Kenny tumbled out of her grasp. He laid on his belly in her entryway and panted. “Shouldn’t you treat well meaning booty callers better than this?”

“I don’t think you are well-meaning or a booty-caller. Tell me why you’re really here, Kenny.” Heidi washed her hands and grabbed a cutting board from a bottom cabinet in the kitchen.

Milk half-ran into the living room from the bedroom, spotted Kenny, and then full-ran back into the bedroom.

“I’m gonna go make her love me,” Kenny declared and followed her.

“Leave my cat alone!” Heidi stared after them with a frown. “And you didn’t answer my question. Why are you here?”

Kenny walked back into the room with Milky in his arms.

Heidi rolled her eyes.

“Well, I didn’t want to get straight to business, you know. Wanted to lean into it. Pet your pussy firs—”

Heidi pointed a wooden cooking spoon at his face and raised both her eyebrows.

He smiled and laughed. “Pooo see,” he said, drawing it out in his slow-motion voice.

Heidi stirred mixed vegetables together with oyster sauce in a pan and shook her head. “It’s better if you don’t pretend to be my friend, you know.”

Kenny put Milky down on the couch and sat beside her. “Why shouldn’t we be friends? Alright, I’ll tell you.”

Heidi put the lid on her stir-fry and sat down in the armchair across from the couch. “So tell me.”

“Cartman’s out. The board voted and so he’s gone now. Started his own PI firm down in Nicaragua or something. Anyway. Kyle’s the new CEO and he wants you to head up the background department. You were our best investigator. We know you’ve moved on, and that you don’t need the firm. But we need you, Heidi. Nice place, by the way. I couldn’t even break in, and I tried.”

Heidi stared at Kenny, her hands clasped between her legs. When he didn’t say anything more, she stood up and walked back to the kitchen.

Milky followed her and cackled until Heidi opened up a can of wet food and scooped it into her food bowl. Milky purred while she ate and swished her fluffy white tail in Heidi’s face.

Heidi smiled and went back to her stir-fry. She turned off the heat and made up two plates of veggies and rice. She sat next to Kenny on the couch and handed him a plate.

“So you’re vegan again?” he asked.

Heidi sighed. “I’m myself again.”

“You’re hot again,” he said and laughed.

Heidi rolled her eyes. “Okay, salary? Benefits? Hours? Duties?”

Kenny scarfed down his plate and went to the kitchen for seconds. “Lots, lots, lots, and lots!” he said.

Heidi assumed he meant that she would make a lot of money, and not that he was going to eat all of her food. She was half-right.


	2. Screaming

Heidi parked her vespa in the parking garage under Subtle, Inc’s only physical office space. Though they employed thousands of surveillance operators, they only had the one office and it was in South Park, Colorado.

Eric had started the company straight out of college. Well, all the boys had, but Eric tells the story differently. And Heidi had believed him, until the day he fired her.

Heidi slipped her hand-knitted white backpack over her shoulder. It had taken her months to get the pattern right, and now she carried it with her everywhere. Milky liked to sleep on it while Heidi sat at her computer. Heidi grabbed the soft knitted straps of her backpack and rubbed the individual links of yarn between her fingers.

Then she started walking. She kept wanting to glance around her to make sure Eric wouldn’t step up from behind her. She could feel him here. He ghosted her steps. She imaged she could feel his breath on her shoulder. And then she wasn’t in the parking garage anymore. That thought sent her straight into a memory.

She was standing in his office, facing away from him. She was saying, “I can’t do this anymore, Eric.”

He was grabbing her by the shoulder, breathing over her ear, “You can’t leave me.”

_No._

Heidi’s eyes snapped open.

“Turner?”

Heidi felt dizzy and sick, but she was able to turn and focus on the source of the voice.

Bebe, more beautiful than Heidi remembered, stood beside her. She was holding her by the shoulder. “Everything okay?”

Heidi nodded.

Bebe leaned toward her and smiled, her hand soft but steady on Heidi’s shoulder. “It’s your first day back, right? Well, don’t worry about it. I know that doesn’t really help, like, make you feel better right now. But a lot of us know what happened and we’re on your side. Plus, if anyone gives you shit, they will one hundred percent have me to deal with. Okay?”

For some reason, it was harder to push Bebe away than it had been to keep Kenny at arm’s distance last night. Whereas he sought to comfort her with humor, Bebe said exactly what she meant. And she seemed genuine about it. Heidi didn’t know how to duck out of this heart to heart. She didn’t know if she wanted to. But then something processed and she stiffened.

“I never told you what happened. How do you know?”

Bebe smiled and made a small sound of pity. “Honey, we’re a company of detectives. It would be hard to not know.”

Heidi shook her head. “I don’t know what you think happened, but I’m not some pathetic girl you need to save, Bebe.” A beat passed in silence. Heidi took in a sharp breath. “Sorry, that was unprofessional.”

Bebe shrugged. “It’s fine. Let’s get inside.”

Heidi tried to focus on her breathing. She tried to think positive thoughts like, _Most people probably won’t care what happened, let alone know_ , and, _It’s just your first day; they’ll ease you in slowly._

Heidi and Bebe stepped into the elevator. “Can we talk about this after work, maybe?” Bebe asked. “I want you to know I mean well, and I’m genuinely sorry for the way everything went down.”

Heidi nodded her head. “I just… I could have used a friend back then, you know? It’s hard to accept it now. I mean, you hardly ever spoke to me back then.”

Bebe shrugged. “It was a hostile work environment, girl. And you were fucking the boss!”

The elevator dinged and Heidi’s breath stopped.

Kyle lowered his head slightly and smiled at her. He stepped into the elevator and the door closed.

“Hey, Kyle,” Bebe sing-singed. “You big boss man.”

Kyle laughed, and Heidi sensed that he was uncomfortable. “Hello, Bebe,” he replied. Then he turned to Heidi. “And Heidi. Welcome back. Thank you for giving Suble, Inc. another chance.”

It felt robotic and strange, talking to Kyle this way. She didn’t know how to respond. “Glad to be back. Congratulations on making CEO.”

Bebe laughed. “Girl, it was like a freaking coup. Kyle paid a couple bodyguards to be there when they called the vote, and Cartman had to be carried out, literally kicking and screaming all kinds of terrible shit. And Kyle sat in his chair _right in front of him_.”

Heidi raised her eyebrows at Kyle.

He laughed and put his hands in his pockets.

Bebe kept talking. “Wendy left with Cartman, can you fucking believe it? She ran out after him. They were like hugging and crying on the sidewalk. I guess you would believe it, because like, you know what it’s like to get all wrapped up in his bullshit, but like, Wendy? It’s so much harder to fathom. But she came back when he fled the county. Like, woke up out of a trance or something. ”

Heidi stared at the doors of the elevator and tried to will herself not to feel anything, not to react, to not heed the obvious insinuations that Bebe was making. But her cheeks burned regardless.

Kyle cleared his throat. “That’s enough victim blaming, Bebe. We were all wrapped up in his bullshit. We just played different roles for him. But now he’s gone and we don’t have to dwell on it.”

The bell dinged and the elevator doors opened. The sights and sounds of Subtle, Inc. surrounded Heidi once more. Despite the rumors, despite the lingering trauma, she was here. This fractured workplace was functioning again, and so was she.


	3. Uneasy

Butters was the office manager.

“Yeah, that Rebecca that Eric hired left a few months after you did. No one’s really sure why, though I’ve heard that Eric paid her a lot of money to go quietly.”Butters said this with a matter-of-fact tone. “So they promoted me. I make all kinds of dough!” He laughed.

For a moment, he looked to Heidi like the boy she remembered from their elementary school playground. He was once more the boy who sang while he played and always showed the new kids around.

“Enough about me, though. How have you been, Heidi?” Butters smiled and folded his hands in his lap, waiting.

Heidi tried to smile back. “I’ve enjoyed being on my own. I feel like I’m becoming the person I always wanted to be, actually. I’ll admit I’m nervous to be here. I’ve already had a couple interactions that indicate to me that… maybe the company hasn’t fully moved on yet? From, you know. Eric.”

Butters nodded his head. “That’s astute of you, Heidi. Yeah, it’s been hard. You were a lot of what held him in check. That isn’t to say that you should have stayed for the company’s sake. Not at all. I’m glad you left when you did. But I do think your leaving triggered the meltdown that then ensued. The office is now suffering from what you might call a collective trauma.”

Heidi nodded her head. She regretted bringing it up. Saying his name had been hard. To distract herself, she studied the walls of Butters’ office. He had a framed psychology degree from the University of Colorado on the wall.

Butters kept talking. “But we’re healing, and to be darn straight with you, Heidi, I think you coming back is an important part in the healing process.”

Heidi felt like she was in Mr. Mackey’s office, except in a parallel universe where Mr. Mackey listened and understood you when you talked, and was an actual trained psychologist. That thought made her giggle.

Butters laughed back. “This is great,” he said.

Heidi agreed.

 

Butters led Heidi to her new desk in the background department. It was an open office situation, though Heidi’s desk was twice the size of everyone else’s. It was an L-shaped glass beauty, and it was equipped with a windows laptop and second screen.

She had asked Eric so many times for a second screen, before. It was a necessity for the work required of background department employees. Eric had never listened. He’d always brush her off, or lecture her about the company’s finances, and often ended with a critique of her efficiency, despite the fact that having a second screen would increase efficiency.

Looking around the background department, Heidi noticed that everyone had two screens. More than that, they all had comfortable, ergonomic chairs, hand rests, and mouse pads. Four people sat on exercise balls, and many had convertible workstations, allowing them to sit or stand as necessary.

“Hello, everyone! Now, I know Kyle has been really involved with your department lately, and that there have been a lot of changes. I have one more big change to announce. I’d like to introduce you to Heidi Turner. She has worked in background here at Subtle, Inc. before. Some of you may recognize her. Some of you may have heard office gossip about her. But this is all you need to know about Heidi: She’s darn good at this job, and she’s also a darn good person.

“So, let’s all gather around here. Pull your chairs over into a circle; we’re gonna powwow, people. I’ve got the Stick of Truth here. Heidi, you get to hold the Stick first. What would you like to say?” Butters handed Heidi the Stick of Truth and smiled.

Heidi grasped the stick and was plunged back into her childhood. She remembered being excluded from this game. She knew about it because it was all anyone would talk about while it was going on. But that was before she really ever met Eric, or any of the boys, besides Butters. She remembered him showing up to her birthday party as Margarine, and how her dumb young self made him cry. She remembered how, after they apologized, and they gave him a makeover, he was the life of the party.

Heidi smiled back at Butters.

He held her eyes and nodded.

“Hi, everyone. I’m really glad to be back here. Butters sort of touched on rumors you might have heard about me. Since we’re going to be working closely together, I’ll tell you my succinct version of the story.

“I was an idiot and I dated my boss. In case any of you don’t already know, that’s a very bad idea. On top of that, though, my boss happened to be… one of the most manipulative narcissists that I’ve ever met. And I had to leave the company for my own sanity and safety.” Heidi felt the tug of memory deep in her chest, the old pain that she had worked so hard to forget, brewing and rising. She clenched the muscles in her legs (a handy trick that her psychologist had taught her; a subtle way to channel anxiety).

“So, enough about me. I’m going to pass the Stick to…” Heidi looked around the room. She spotted Kenny’s little sister, Karen, who wasn’t so little anymore, but still seemed quite shy. Heidi walked over to her and held the Stick out.

Karen blushed and tucked her red hair behind her ear. She held a trembling hand out and grasped the Stick.

Heidi returned to her seat and took slow, even breaths.

“Hi, I’m Karen. I guess I’d just like to say that I’m excited to have a department manager again. Not that it wasn’t great having Kyle come by to help us sometimes, but yeah.” Karen held the Stick out. “Anyone?”

Craig stood up and took the Stick from her, then returned to his seat next to Tweek. “So,” he began, his voice as nasal as Heidi remembered, “I’d just like to say that I am sooo happy that the firm has been providing snacks on the daily in the break room.”

Tweet reached out and grasped the Stick, his right fist wrapped just under Craig’s left hand. “And the meditation room! Is — so — nice.” He turned to Heidi and addressed her directly. “I’ve been holding yoga-mediation sessions every Monday/Wednesday/Friday.”

Craig put his chin on Tweek’s blonde, bird’s nest hair and looked down at him fondly. “And then we eat freakin’ pesto gnocchi with grilled chicken and play card games about cats.”

“And it’s good to see you again,” Tweek added.

Craig nodded and tossed the Stick to Damien.

Heidi had sat next to Craig and Tweek for the last 4 years of her time at Subtle, Inc. They’d seen it all happen, and they still respected her. They still supported her.

The rest of the meeting passed quickly. At the end of it, ten background investigators had introduced themselves to her, all of them well-meaning, all of them clearly happy here. That was all Heidi had ever wanted for and from this company. To see that wish come to fruition was astonishing. And yet, as it had happened in her absence, she felt a certain unshakeable loneliness.


	4. Normal

Heidi had not been sitting at her new desk for more than fifteen minutes when she received an instant message from Butters. His profile photo was so similar to the author photo that he had utilized for his second published book, _The Poop that Took a Pee_ , that Heidi giggled aloud. The only real difference she could discern was that he’d grown up.

His message read, “There’s an admin meeting in five minutes. These happen every Monday at 10:30 in the conference room by Kyle’s office. Meet me by my office and we can walk together?”

Heidi typed a quick response: “Be right there! Thanks for letting me know :).” She then locked her computer and looked out at the ten diligently working background investigators.

Damien was perusing the YouTube of a young pop star who was the plaintiff in a product liability lawsuit. He scoffed and gagged intermittently while watching their music videos, and even once beat his head against the desk and mumbled something about “summoning the dark lord about this.”

“Hey everyone, I’m heading out to the admin meeting. Does anyone need anything before I go?” Heidi looked around the room. She’d spoken loudly enough that she knew they’d all heard her through their headphones; it was protocol to keep volume low whenever possible for this reason. They each gave their response in different ways.

Tweek and Craig shook their heads and smiled. “Have fun,” Craig teased.

Damien mumbled something and shook his head.

Karen smiled and uttered a timid, “No, I’m good.”

Kevin, who of course had a large Spock poster on the wall by his desk, said, “Ay ay, Captain!” and saluted her.

Heidi blushed. “Okay, see you guys later.”

She met Butters just as he was leaving his office.

“Hi! Did you bring a notebook? I take all kinds of notes at these meetings.” Butters held up a black notebook, black pen, and a set of fine-liner pens in a variety of colors.

Heidi laughed. “Wow! You’re prepared.” She held up her sticky note pad and pencil. “Me, not so much.”

“Oh, gee, that’s plenty prepared! Let’s go.”

Heidi felt confident and happy walking beside Butters down the hall. She felt like he was genuine, like she didn’t have to worry about him suddenly turning on her. It was nice to trust her coworkers again.

When they reached the conference room, Stan was already seated at the conference table, munching on a butter cookie—one of a myriad of snacks arranged there. He looked up and waved when they entered. “Sorry,” he mumbled, crumbs spewing from his mouth. “Mouth full.” He chewed hurriedly, then came around the table to greet Heidi. “Hey! The savior of Background. Dude, I can’t tell you how glad we all are to have you back.” He hugged her.

Heidi stiffened, but hugged him back. He was quite a bit taller than her, and her head fit onto his chest in a near uncomfortable perfect fit. “Everyone keeps telling me that,” she noted and laughed weakly.

Stan ended the hug and stepped back. “Well, it’s true,” he said. “You’re the right person for the job. How’s your first day back going?” He rounded the table and sat back down in his seat.

Heidi turned to Butters and then back to Stan. “It’s good. I’m happy with the changes that I see. Like this.” She gestured to the food laid out on the conference table.

Stan laughed. “It’s amazing what you can do when the budget isn’t being drained by the wild spending of an egomaniac!”

Heidi suppressed a flinch and maintained her smile. It shouldn’t bother her to hear Eric referred to as such. She knew it was true. And she had worked hard to squash all feeling she’d had for the man. Still, it was hard to think of him, let alone speak of him.

“Well, gee, I’ll say!” Butters said, grabbing a plate and helping himself to the strawberries.

Wendy came bustling in and laid a pile of paperwork down in a seat, conspicuously not the one next to Stan.

Stan looked down at his plate and swallowed. He seemed to sober.

“Hello everyone,” Wendy said without making eye contact with anyone. She stared down at the conference table, gathered stacks of paperwork into her arms, and began to place them before each seat. “Just a few forms today. The numbers for last period, projections for the next, an updated graph of net profit to date, and the meeting agenda. Kyle will be in shortly to begin the meeting.”

Various employees in administrative positions filed into the room. Butters leaned in to Heidi’s side and muttered, “Wendy hasn’t been the same, since. She’s Kyle assistant now, and Bebe got Wendy’s old job as the Statements admin. I reckon Wendy resents that.”

Heidi kept her expression neutral and piled blueberries onto her plate. She muttered back, “I bet.” She replied out of obligation; she preferred not to talk about other’s business, unless it was truly pertinent to her own life, or shared willingly by the person. She hoped that this drama-dishing would end once she’d been reintegrated into the office, and that shit-talking would not define her working relationship with Butters, or anyone else.

Just then, Bebe came bouncing in. “Good morning, everyone!” she sing-songed. She wore pale pink yoga pants, white athletic shoes, and a white tank top that emphasized her cleavage. She sat next to Wendy and hugged her.

Wendy blushed, glanced down at Bebe’s breasts, and then looked back to the meeting agenda.

Heidi heard them catching up—well, Bebe catching Wendy up on her lively weekend, and Wendy giving the occasional monosyllabic response.

Then the entire room broke out in cheering.

“Hey!”

“There he is!”

“Ow, baby!”

Kyle stood in the doorway, his green eyes crinkled with amusement, his face red. He strode to the head of the table and held up his hands. His fingers were long and slender. His red hair was tamed, each curl defined in short, tight spirals. A few curls, longer than the rest, hung in elegant disarray from the top of his head. He pushed them back from his forehead and cleared his throat.

The room calmed.

“So, we exceeded our billing goals last period.”

The room exploded into a chaos of laughter and whooping.

Stan pulled a nerf gun out from under his chair and fired several celebratory shots at Kyle, who shielded his face with his arms and laughed.

“Alright! That’s enough, Stan. Stan!”

A final shot sounded and hit Kyle in the cheek.

Kyle smiled, though Heidi could tell he was trying not to. “If this keeps up, we’ll continue to upgrade outdated equipment, increase workplace beautification project budgets, and save up for some holiday bonuses this year. Sound good?”

The administrators all beat the conference table with their fists and yelled their agreement.

“Okay, on that note, I’ll hand the meeting over to Wendy. She’ll take us through the official agenda today.”

Kyle sat and turned his chair toward Wendy, displaying his profile to the table.

Heidi noted the slight upward curve of his nose and the confidence of his stare.

Wendy nodded and stood up. “First up on the agenda, Welcome Back, Heidi!” Wendy clapped, and the others followed suit.

Heidi bowed her head and smiled, avoiding eye contact.

“Second up, sexual harassment prevention training is now mandatory for all Subtle, Inc. employees, so admins, make sure your department members all complete their training.

“Third…”

 

Heidi collapsed onto her bed that evening, exhausted from work. Milk jumped up and sniffed Heidi’s fingers. Heidi smiled and scratched Milk’s cheek. “I missed you,” she said.

Milk purred and pushed her cheek into Heidi’s palm forcefully.

Heidi smiled and closed her eyes. She drifted into a relaxed half-sleep, distantly aware of the heat and weight of her cat against her side.

A ringing sound came from the living room, waking Heidi slowly. When she came to, she had no idea how long it had been ringing, or how long she’d been dozing.

Heidi sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Alexa,” she said, “who is calling?”

Alexa’s reply: “You have ten missed calls from Eric Cartman.”


	5. Attack

Heidi froze, but her heart sped up. It pounded in her chest. The panic rose within her until she shot up out of bed and ran for the front door. Panting, hands shaking, Heidi checked the front door’s myriad of locks. They clattered in her shaking hands, but they were all locked. She ran to the living room window and checked the latch. It was also locked.

Heidi breathed a sigh of relief and slumped against the wall. She knew that she’d secured this apartment. She knew he couldn’t get in. Fuck, Kenny couldn’t even break in. And yet, her heart continued to pound, and she was dizzy with adrenaline.

She took a deep breath in, held it for three seconds, then let it out slowly. Then again. And again. Somehow, she lost the rhythm and her breaths began to come short and fast, until her breath became a gasp and her hands flew to her throat.

Heidi reached behind herself, grappling with the wall until she felt her palms press flat to the cold walls. She brought her face to the wall, her breathing slowing. She slid down the wall slowly, cooling her flushed face with its surface, until she was laying on the ground, curled in on herself.

She had a unsteady grasp on time. When her thoughts came back into some semblance of clarity, the room was dark. Her Amazon Echo flashed yellow, alerting her to 10 missed call from Eric.

Heidi realized she was shivering and moved away from the wall. She sat up and looked at the clock. 3 a.m. Heidi got to her feet, walked back into her bedroom, and fell asleep on top of the covers. Her last thought was yet another panicked urge to check the locks on the front door.

 

The background department bustled with energy the next day when Heidi arrived. She had dark bags under her eyes, and had resigned herself to a miserable day. When Tweek saw her, he hurried to meet her.

“Heidi,” he said, his eyes wide, “Eric’s back. He broke into the office last night, pissed in Kyle’s office, and left Wendy a letter on her desk. She wouldn’t let anyone read it, and she immediately went home. We tried calling you. We thought he might try to—”

“Get to me? He did.” Heidi closed her tired eyes and sighed. “He failed,” she said. She thought back to her panic attack and felt like a liar.

Craig approached them. “Did he tell you?”

Tweek hesitated.

Craig flashed her a piercing look. “Check your desk.”

Heidi looked out over the department and noticed that every background investigator’s desk was covered in rose pedals. A bouquet ofred roses awaited her at her desk. Heidi took a deep breath.

“I’m going to talk to Kyle,” she announced.

Tweek put his hand on her shoulder.

“I’m fine,” Heidi said, looking down at the carpet on the floor. She remembered how she’d watched this carpet when Eric was leading her to her new desk, her first day as a background investigator. She’d memorized the pattern. Its familiarity was both comforting and unsettling. She thought she could smell him, the way he’d smelled that first day—like weed and lavender.

Heidi shook her head and looked back at Tweek.

He frowned.

“I’m fine,” she insisted.

 

Heidi knocked on Kyle’s office door. Employees rushed past her down the hallway, talking urgently into their cell phones.

The door opened and Kyle looked back at her, dark circles under his eyes, as well. His red curls hung limp over his eyes. “Yes?” he rasped.

“Can I come in?” Heidi asked.

Kyle looked back into his office, then at Heidi. He nodded. “Sure. Don’t mind the stench of human urine.” He held the door open for her and closed it behind her.

The smell hit her. The air was humid with it.

“He pissed in the humidifier,” Kyle said, gesturing at an air humidifier on his desk.

“That’s what I’m here to talk about.” Heidi strode over to the windows and opened them wide. The cold rushed in. Shivering, Heidi turned back to Kyle.

He stared back at her, his expression guarded. He held a bottle of rum in his right hand loosely. He wore an untucked grey t-shirt and black sweatpants. His feet were bare.

“What happened to you?” she asked.

He turned around and walked back to his desk. He sat down and poured himself a shot. “Sorry to show you this side of me,” he said. “I’ve had a hard night.”

Heidi looked out over the city. Kyle had an amazing view from his office. An aggressive wind whipped past the window and stole the heat from her cheeks. She closed her eyes and breathed.

She heard Kyle’s shot glass clatter back down onto his desk.

“So, what’d he do to you?”

“Flowers,” Heidi replied.

A pause. Then: “It’s too cold to have that open.”

Heidi closed the windows, then walked to sit in front of Kyle’s desk. She wasn’t sure how she felt. There were a hundred memories bubbling under the surface of her thoughts, things she had done in this office that shamed her, some that had thrilled her, many that had hurt her. She avoided Kyle’s gaze.

“I wanted to offer my help in determining how Eric broke into the office, as well as in redesigning the security system to prevent future incidents.”

Kyle laughed.

Heidi faltered. “Yes?” she asked.

Kyle shook his head. “He didn’t break in by normal means, Heidi. This is more fucked up than that.” He poured himself another shot.

This time Heidi noticed his shaking hands.

“What is it?” she asked.

Kyle swallowed and set the glass down. He typed something quickly on his computer and then turned the screen for her to see. It was video camera footage of Kyle’s office. One moment, it is dark and empty. The next, a black hole opened in the floor, gaping and swirling, and Eric crawled up out of it slowly.

Heidi turned to Kyle.

He held her eyes. “He’s made some fucking deal with some dark entity, and we’re gonna have a bad time.”


	6. The Cat Man

Heidi and Kyle stared at each other over Kyle’s desk. It waslittered with hastily written notes, and it had a series of semi-circle water stains, as from the condensation dripping down acold glass—in this case, it was likely the scotch dripping down the edges of Kyle’s shakily poured shots.

“How long have you known about this?” Heidi asked.

Kyle cleared his throat. “We didn’t know anything for sure until today.”

Heidi walked behind Kyle’s desk and surveyed his notes. “You knew,” she surmised.

Kyle dropped his head into his hands. “No, I only feared it. I’d hoped that this kind of thing was mostly in my imagination when we were kids. But I’ve been—seeing shit. Like, zoning out, losing time, talking prophetic bullshit. It’s fucked.”

Heidi read a sticky note beside Kyle’s keyboard. It read, ‘Beware the blood of the turned.’ She turned to Kyle. “Do you understand your visions?”

A voice came from the doorway. “He doesn’t even remember them.”

Heidi turned.

Stan stood before her, leaning against the doorjamb, his arms crossed over his chest. He pushed off from the wall and approached the desk. He gestured toward the notes. “I wrote those. Took note of what he said during a few of his episodes.”

Heidi looked to Kyle and frowned, confused. “But I thought you said Eric had made a deal with a dark entity? Did you see that in a vision?”

“No, I saw that on the fucking cam footage!” Kyle burst out.

Heidi stepped back. She felt herself recede into memory for a moment and struggled to remain present. “Don’t yell at me,” she said.

Kyle closed his eyes and sat down. “Sorry. I just—I feel like this is related to all that time he spent with Cthulu. But it could really be anything. Shit like this used to happen to us all the time. It could be Satan, or Barbara Streisand for all I know.”

Heidi stared at the carpet, unable to meet Kyle’s eyes. “So you think whatever Eric has gotten into has triggered these visions you’re having?” Heidi glanced back at Kyle’s computer screen, where the video was paused on a still image of Eric emerging from the black hole in the floor.

“Maybe. All I know is I started losing time about a month ago, and I started feeling this heavy—fucking—anxiety, like something was about to happen. And it did.”

Heidi continued to study the carpet. Then she noticed something strange—an irregularity in the pattern. “It’s different here,” she said.

“What?” Stan asked.

Heidi got down onto her knees and traced the pattern in the carpet with her forefinger. “There’s a weird symbol here,” she said. “Like a spiral on a hypnotist’s gadget, but it has a tail. And then the tail branches out into three semi circles. And there’s an eye under the tail. You guys ever seen this before?” Heidi looked back up at Stan and Kyle.

They were both couched above her, squinting down at where she held her forefinger to the carpet.

Kyle tossed his empty scotch bottle into the trash and ran his hands through his hair. “What that fuck,” he whispered, gripping his red locks between his fingers.

Stan shook his head. “I don’t recognize it. But I know someone who might.”

 

Stan drove a black dodge charger, though it was covered with snow, so it appeared white. Kyle sat shotgun, while Heidi slid into the backseat.

The engine purred to life and Heidi’s seat vibrated gently. She thought about her vespa and felt a sour twist in her gut. It was often hard for her to stomach shows of wealth from upper management, especially since allowing herself to be enchanted by Eric’s.

Before Stan could take off, a knock came at the driver’s side window. Butters stood outside the car, fidgeting in the cold.

Stand rolled down the window.

Butters leaned down, and opened his mouth to speak. His breath came out in white puffs. “Gee fellas,” he panted, “where do you think you’re going? It’s the middle of the work day, and we’ve all just had a heck of a shock. Don’t you think we should call a company meeting?”

“We can’t,” Stan said, shaking his head. “We don’t have any answers yet. We have to go figure out what’s happening first.”

“Come with us,” Heidi volunteered.

Butters looked at her. “Come with you and leave the office without its CEO, CFO, background manager, _and_ office manager?”

Stan touched Butters’ mitten-covered hand where it rested on the window-sill. “We trust you to take care of everything in our absence. We have to go and do this—for the company.”

Butters shook his head. “Well, I have to go back in there. And I know that’s for the company. I’m not so sure about what you fellas are doing.” He turned and walked back to the building.

Heidi watched until he had disappeared in the swirling, snowy air.

Stan rolled up the window and drove into the storm.

 

Some time later, they pulled up to a trailer park. Five black cats sat on a wooden fence next to a dirty white trailer. They trained their yellow eyes on the trio as they approached the door. A pregnant tabby surveyed them from the ground beneath a covered car port to their right. Her multicolored kittens suckled fervently at her nipples.

Stan wiped his palms on his jeans and knocked on the tailer door. He pushed his hands into his pockets and turned back to Kyle and Heidi with a shrug.

The door opened and Stan swirled back around.

An old white man with long scraggly hair and a dirty, salt and pepper beard stood in the doorway. “Ah,” he said.“Your coming was foretold to me.” He made eye contact with each one of them in turn.

Heidi stared back into his yellow eyes.

“Come in,” he said at last. “Mind the cats.”

He led them into his living space, which was indeed crawling with cats. Heidi sat on a ripped couch that had stuffing bursting rom the seams on the arm rests. A calico cat jumped onto her lap and cackled at her. She scratched it behind the ears, expecting to come away with flea dirt under her finger nails, but she found none.

Stan cleared his throat. “We need your help,” he said. “Do you know what this symbol means?” He handed the old man a scrap of paper.

The man took the proffered scrap and examined it. “This is shadow magic,” he said, handing the scrap back to Stan. “It binds the life force of the user to an object.”

“Does this by any chance allow the user to transport between objects that they have bewitched?” Kyle asked.

“Yes,” the old man croaked. “You are a seer, as well. What is your path?”

Kyle stared back at him blankly.

Stan leaned in close to the old man. “He doesn’t know what you mean by ‘path,’” he explained.

The old man turned back to Kyle. “What anchors you to the gift, young man?”

Kyle shook his head. “No clue, dude. I woke up like this.”

“Ah, Beyonce,” the old seer said. “A wise and gifted sorceress.”

Heidi and Stan raised their eyebrows at each other from across the room, both of them near laughter.

Kyle maintained eye contact with the old seer. “Okay, I’m going to be real with you. I hate everything about being a ‘seer,’ if that really is what I am—because let’s face it, I’m probably just crazy.”

The old seer nodded and grabbed a cheap black cane from the wall. It still had a Wal-Mart sticker on it. “You will be powerful,” he said as he braced his weight on the cane and stood up from his armchair. He walked over to a kitchen area, stepped over two rough-housing grey kittens, and pulled a bottle of scotch out of the cabinet. “This will dull the gift’s most troubling side affects,” he said.

Kyle laughed. “I figured that much out for myself.”

The old man put the scotch back into the cabinet, and instead pulled out a bag of what appeared to be weed and…

“Lavender,” the old man said. “And weed. You burn the lavender and smoke the weed, not the other way around. Unless you want to transition into shadow magic.”

Heidi stood up. “Eric,” she said. “He must be a seer, too. He-he always smelled like—“

“Lavender and pot,” Kyle finished, looking at Heidi with wide eyes.

Heidi stared back at him, her heart racing. “That’s why he changed,” she said.

Kyle’s expression softened and he shook his head. “No, that’s just who he was, Heidi.”

“Fuck you, Kyle,” Heidi retorted. “He wasn’t always like this. Something happened. This happened. You’re not dealing with it well, either, are you?” Heidi turned to leave, but she tripped over a darting cat and fell hard onto her knees. Tears prickled at her eyes, and she hissed her breath out between her teeth.

Stan jumped up to help Heidi to her feet, but before she could stand, Kyle spoke.

“Don’t go back to making excuses for him, Heidi.”

Heidi kept her face down. She studied the linoleum floor through her tears. One of the grey kittens who had been rough-housing in the kitchen poked its head out from under her arm. It pointed its nose at her and sniffed gently at her wet cheeks, before sneezing on her. Heidi smiled.

“I am done making excuses for him,” she said, sitting up. She held her forefinger out for the kitten to smell. “You’re right. But this might be why—” she swallowed “—why I could never leave, even when I thought I’d die if I stayed.”

The kitten batted at Heidi’s forefinger with both paws and then stood there on its hind legs, chewing on her finger.

“A shadow magician can bend the will of others,” the old seer said. “But time breaks all spells.”


	7. What's a little shadow magic between friends?

Heidi entered the background department with a tentative smile. Tweek’s head poked up first, his yellow spikes rising slowly from behind his computer screen (he tended to slump on his desk when he was deep in a case) until his hazel eyes met Heidi’s gray.

She waved and approached her desk. She could hear the background department muttering. Heidi let out her breath and placed her bag on the floor. Then she turned to face the others.

Tweek stood up from his desk and approached Heidi. “Where did you go?” he asked. He twitched and grimaced as he tried to control the motion.

“I’m sorry.” Heidi leaned against her desk and sighed. “It was sudden. Upper management took me on a field trip to a trailer park. Get this: Eric is a witch and Kyle is psychic. Also Stan has some really strange connections.”

Heidi expected Tweek to be confused by her explanation, but instead, his expression softened. “Stan took you to see the cat man.”

Heidi frowned. “Yeah. How did you—?”

“I’ve been before. I mean—” Tweek motioned for Craig to join them. “Craig and I went once. Stan thought it might be good for my anxiety. He really trusts that old man.”

Heidi nodded. “Well, the cat man did have some good information for us. Apparently, Eric has begun using shadow magic.”

Craig came to stand behind Tweek. He wrapped his arms around Tweek and leaned his weight onto him. “I did some shadow magic in high school.”

Tweek raised his eyebrows and turned in Craig’s arms. “You never told me.”

Craig shrugged and lowered his voice. “It was when we were broken up Sophomore year. I spent some time with Eric and Butters; they were really into it.”

“Butters?” Heidi pushed off from her desk. “He did shadow magic?”

Craig shook his head. “No, not shadow magic. Just spells. Levitation. Anti-anxiety. Some dream spells. It wasn’t too heavy. Though Eric was always trying to push things. I think Butters was going through a breakup. He always hung out with Eric between girlfriends.”

“I need to talk to him,” Heidi said.

Tweek frowned and twitched. “You need to talk to us,” he said, gesturing at the background department. “Tell them what’s going on.”

Heidi looked out over her department. They were all listening in on their conversation anyhow, she was sure. Heidi cleared her throat. “Department meeting?”

The eight seated members of the BG department removed their headphones one by one and wheeled their computer chairs over to form a semi-circle around where Heidi, Tweek, and Craig stood before Heidi’s desk.

Karen raised her hand.

Tweek whispered something to Craig and he tossed Karen the Stick.

She seemed harried by the throw, but managed to catch the Stick. “Should we be scared?” she asked.

Heidi straightened up. “No, I don’t think you guys should worry about it. Upper management is doing everything they can to protect us.”

“How are they supposed to protect us from shadow magic?” Damien asked.

Karen nodded. “Exactly. What I want to know is, how do we protect ourselves?”

Heidi took a breath in and held it while she considered her words. “I don’t know enough about shadow magic to give you a straight answer. To be honest, this is a frightening situation. You should be aware that Eric has the ability to instantly transport between any two sites where he has placed this symbol.” Heidi showed them all the scrap of paper with the symbol on it.

They passed it around the group and studied it individually.

“Be prepared for that. One known site is in Kyle’s office. That’s how he got into the office last time.”

“What about Wendy?” Kevin asked, his expression solemn. “Has anyone checked on her? She might know something. Who knows what was in that note Cartman left her.”

Heidi looked to Tweek and Craig, but they shook their heads. “I honestly don’t know,” she replied. “I’ll look into that.”

“While you’re at it,” Damien added, “you might want to ask the kid who was raised by Satan if he knows anything.”

Heidi raised her eyebrows. “Okay, Damien, what do you know?”

“Shadow magic is extremely taxing. Depending on where he’s porting in from, he’ll need between a week and a month to recover. In the mean time he can still perform lower order spells, like illusions and influences. So if you start feeling like you might want to jump off a cliff, or adopt seventeen goats and take up blood magic, be suspicious of whether or not that’s really you.”

“So you’re saying we have at least a week wherein he cannot come here physically by way of shadow magic?” Heidi said.

“Probably. I could call on my father, Satan: the lord of darkness, for more information.”

Heidi nodded. “Do that.”

“I hear he’s actually a nice guy,” Kevin remarked.

Karen cleared her throat. “What about Kenny?” She looked around the group. “He might know something. He’s been Eric’s friend since they were kids.”

Heidi frowned. “Good point. Where is he?”

Karen fidgeted. “His other job, I think. I’ll get ahold of him.”

“Do that. Also,” Heidi turned to Tweek and Craig. “Can you guys look into all this on the web? It will probably be hard to decipher between what’s real and what isn’t. If it doesn’t seem fruitful, abandon the task, but I think we should try.”

Tweek nodded.

“Bet I find it before you do,” Craig teased Tweek, walking back to his desk with a playful smile.

Tweek scoffed and downed half of his coffee cup. “Sure you wanna make a losing bet like that?”

The others began to talk amongst themselves. Damien had a couple helpers enlisted to help him gather the materials necessary to summon Satan to their office, and Karen was back at her computer, presumably communicating with Kenny.Heidi went back to her desk and pressed the intercom button for Bebe’s desk.

“Hey, Bebe?” she said.

There was a moment of silence, then, “Yeah?”

Heidi picked up the phone. “Do you have a moment?” she asked.

“What’s up?” Bebe replied.

“I need you to check in on Wendy.”

Bebe laughed. “Well, then I need you to find someone to run the statements department in my absence, because Wendy has not been answering my texts or calls since she went home.”

“Done. I’ll have Butters send someone over. Just get ahold of Wendy. We need to know a) what was the content of Eric’s letter to her? And b) does she know anything? Can we trust her? There’s a chance that Eric has influenced her, so watch out for that. Also, you should probably know that Eric is a shadow magician and has the power to influence anyone’s actions, including your own, so if you encounter him, watch out. I’m texting you a picture of a known shadow magic rune that he is utilizing for instantaneous transportation spells.”

Bebe was quiet for a few seconds, before she replied, “Super weird, but thanks for that delicious info. I’m on my way to Wendy’s. I’ll update you before five, because fuck you if you think I’m working after hours on this.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Heidi hung up the phone and frowned. She stood up and made her way down the hall. She reached Butters office door sooner than she had expected and was met with a strange odor. It permeated the hall, and was oddly familiar. Her breath caught—it was lavender and cannabis.

 _Eric_.


End file.
